Soldiering On Through Burnout, Budgeting, and the Dream You Still Believe In
Today, I overslept.
I didn’t mean to. I had plans. But my body wasn’t onboard.
And in that moment of forced rest, I realized just how real everything has become.
It’s Been Three Months. The Pressure’s Mounting.
The job search. The uncertainty. The financials. The calendar doesn’t lie—rent is coming. My savings are shrinking.
I’ve applied for tech roles. I’ve applied outside my industry. I’ve looked into career coaches, consultants, anything to help me make sense of this journey and give me an edge. But it always comes back to a harsh trade-off:
Should I invest in guidance, or make sure I have food next week?
My Reality: Asian, Kiwi, Tech-hopeful in Australia
And yeah, that comes with baggage. Every time I enter a new application or opportunity, I wonder if I’m already being silently filtered out. My identity isn’t all of me, but it’s part of this story—and it colors every compromise I’ve made.
Dreams Don’t Cancel Rent
I wanted to build a future in tech. Maybe even build my own game. Maybe even write, create, make content that resonates. But first… I need stability.
That’s the hardest part. Holding space for the dream and the reality.
So I’ve been skilling up. Learning. Grinding. Trying. But it never feels like enough. And that weight? It’s physical now.
My Body’s Tired Too
I’ve wrestled with my self-image for a long time. I always thought I’d be in my “prime” by now—fit, sharp, driven. But instead, I’m navigating through the haze of burnout, body dysmorphia, and a survival-mode lifestyle that doesn’t allow for peak anything.
I’m not proud of how I look sometimes. I’m not proud of how little I eat some days just to stretch a budget. But I am proud that I haven’t given up.
Crashing Out Wasn’t Laziness. It Was an SOS.
When I crashed today, I realized something: my body knew I needed to stop.
It wasn’t failure. It was recalibration.
And weirdly? After I woke up and pushed through the guilt, I felt stronger. More certain. More grounded in what I still want, even after everything.
Final Thought
I’m still here. Still pushing. Still dreaming—practically.
I’m not naïve. I’m not romanticizing struggle. But I am choosing to believe that rest, reflection, and resilience count for something.
I’m soldiering on. With spite. With confidence. With more heart than ever.
📌 Bookmark this if you need the reminder:
“You’re not behind. You’re recovering. You’re building quietly.”Full Medium Version -> Link